Attitude, being able to bite back, self-respect and not letting anybody put you down. These are all highly contributing factors to feeling beautiful. Insecurities are often the gateway to being pushed around, mocked, bossed around and looked down on. Being able to say no, react, not letting anybody having a laugh on your behalf or better yet saying Fuck you!, will not only give you the feeling of self-respect and security. It will also put those arrogant people in place, showing that it is not ok to make fun of other people.

Be strong, know your uniquess and worth. Be beautiful and fuck anybody who tries to make you feel different.

This title is based on my opinion that being happy all the time and loving everything always is simply not healthy. The Coen brothers portrays this forced and constant obtimistic view on life in their latest movie ‘Burn After Reading‘ where two gym-employees finds a disc with top-secret CIA stuff, and decides to blackmail its owner. These two characters, including the personal trainer named Chad, played by Brad Pitt, are immensely stupid and naive. But they are also always positive when it is obvious that they really aren’t.

A little hate never hurt anyone – what I mean by this statement is that it’s ok to have a bad day, silently cursing people in the subway or squinting your eyes when somebody is overly happy. To be less like Chad and realize that the world’s won’t end just because you allow yourself to be ‘negative’. But keep away from cynicism, bitterness and envy, these are destructive emotions that will take over and make you all about the negativity.

You’re human and are entitled to form your own opinion and hold your own, and not feel like you have to put on a smiling face for everyone. Try to be angry and negative about something. Balance is important and if you are an optimistic person by nature a little hating from time to time will only be good for you.

1. Stop being insecure

Easier said than done, we know. But fact is that being insecure and doubting yourself at every instance has a terribly damaging effect on your self-perception. Another fact is also that everybody in the whole wide world feels insecure from time to time. It is impossible to avoid making mistakes or bad calls. What is really important is whether or not you will accept that you are not perfect and unable to know everything all the time. Realizing this, you will be able to be less insecure and dare to be whoever you want.

2. Building self-confidence

This can be achieved in many ways. Self-confidence is strongly linked to our self image and must be at a stable high for us to feel good about ourselves. All of these tips will result in higher selfconfidence. Use them as a step by step guide or make your pick. Either way to reach the goal of loving yourself.

3. Accepting who you are

Acceptance is not the same thing as not growing as a person. However, you must be able to look yourself in the mirror without shuddering. You are who you are and change is just around the corner. But before you can change you need to know what it is that needs changing.

4. Not being your worst critic

Respect. It’s all about respect and knowing yourself. Always assuming you are the one that is wrong and have grasped a situation incorrectly will only make you doubt yourself and your ability to independently make good decisions and choices. Knowing when you are wrong and admitting it to yourself as well as to other is only healthy. It is when you stop trusting yourself you’re in trouble.

5. Being able to take criticism and not taking what other people think of you as a threat

If external forces easily shake you into to doubting yourself you are in a fragile state. People around you, best friends and worst enemies, will always criticize your opinions and values. But this is rarely done to hurt you and more as a sign of interest. Taking criticism or questioning from other as a threat is a survival instinct. But knowing that in the end it only matter what you think, should make it a little bit less threatening. What other people think is not a threat but rather an exchange of opinions. You do not have to change your mind or opinion just because it isn’t shared by others.

6. Finding personal characteristics that you are proud of

It does not have to be much but finding at least one thing that you like about yourself and embracing it is a start. Are you funny, nice to people, humble, friendly etc? This way you will enhance what is unique about you and coming one step closer to accepting the fact that you are beautiful.

7. Thinking that you are in at least one way better than others

Comparing ourselves with others is a hard thing to avoid. And to take a shortcut here a good idea is to actually put yourselves above the people you compare yourself with. Don’t worry, they probably do it as well. Knowing in your mind that you posses skills or talents that the others do not will help you to relax and be yourself.

8. Thinking that you are better than others in a humble and not bully kind of a way

However, this can easily transcend into the creation of qualities resembling people openly thinking their better than others. Limit this tip as a mental exercise because bragging is truly one of man worst traits. It will only convince so many people. Not including yourself.

9. Create good routines

The perception of a cool and likable character today amongst younger people is more than often based on how “free” you are from responsibility, routines and other element considers to a be part of the “adult” life. Eating good, exercising regularly, planning ahead are all good things that will lead to the feeling of being in control of your life. When many people will think you are boring and boxed in your routines, they are simple intimidated and envious that you are not dependent on blurry nights at some random clubs to feel good about yourself. Routines such as these will also show direct result on your energy and figure. And although we do not like to think of physical appearance as the main key to feeling beautiful – it is only to realize that we are all influenced by our western view on beauty.

10. Doing all of these things by yourself

Reassurance, verification and encouragements from family and friends can be considered a bonus at most. Relying on others to define who you will merely give you an excuse to really find out yourself.

Steven Pinker earlier this year released his book calle The Blank Slate where he challenges prior beliefs that man is born without any distinctions and uniqueness. A very interesting issue indeed as it easily crosses over to the domain of beauty. If we would follow the thought that claims that all of us are born without any kind of character and are shaped by culture, society, upbringing and social elements – this strongly encourages the view on all humans formed by others rather than themselves.

Pinker however suggests that we come to this world already bearing unique talents and traits. Every person on this planet is hence unique and thus beautiful in his/her own way. And still most of us still strive towards a more general perception of beauty. A stereotype enforced by the beauty industry, endorsed by super models and sold in comsetic stores all over the world.

Uniqueness is Beauty

Finding you inner uniqueness, what you were born with, will allow you to discover what makes you beautiful. Simple as that. Well, just because we were all born with it does not even half of us knows what it is. People spend lifetimes searching for it without completely finding it.

One simple advice to find your inner uniqueness is to ask your parents. Two people who’ve had the chance to observe you through out your birth, childhood and growth. If anybody knows what makes you unique it’s your blood relations.