A tough topic. On the mere contemplation we react instinctively. As if somebody has cried “Bomb” in an airport we head for the door, a quick exit. But the reason we avoid the question is not out of panic but as a direct response to a nearby emotion – guilt. Parents make us feel guilty. Not living up to their expectations, not calling enough or visiting too seldom. Bottom line is that in many ways family relations constrain us – such a close, intense and intimate type of relationship that can and often will freeze our personal as well as economic growth. It is thus highly relevant to ask this question. Are we better off without our parents? And in order to opinionate on this issue from an objective point of view, please discard the fact that:

• You love them
• They love you
• They brought you to this world
• They said farewell to about a thousand life-preferences in order to have you
• You owe them more than you could ever repay (in money and other indefinable things)
• During decades they fed you, clothed you, taught you the ways of the world – all only to, at a senior age, be sent off to a nursing home

An unbalanced relationship

Putting a father-son, mother-daughter, father-daughter or mother-son relationship in perspective it is with further a due we dive into the importance of balance and equal treatment in a relationship. Just take the rules of a functioning girlfriend-boyfriend relationship. Asking some of my closer “couple-friends” confirms my suspicions. The perception of equality and balance is considered vital in order for a relationship to evolve and stay healthy and individually nourishing. And most of you would hopefully agree with me. You wouldn’t want to be in a relationship where you don’t see eye to eye with your partner, right?

Then why is that exactly the case when it comes to our relationship with our parents? Why are the most important relations in our lives so often breaking the rules of engagement?

Are you still daddy’s little girl?’

According to me, the main reason why most relationships with parents are unbalanced is simple. Parents are simply too bias to know any better. Even when you are all grown up and obtain the intellect of an adult person, it is not unusual or particularly strange that your mom or your dad still treats you as if you were still 12 years old. In their eyes you’re still Daddy’s little girl or Mom’s precious boy. But even as it is fairly easy to understand, it should not be accepted and again raises the question whether or not we are better off without our parents?

Bottom line, according to all the do’s and don’ts, statistics and rules of a relationship your relationship with your parents is one of the more unhealthy kind. But the truth is that if forced to answer the question if you are better off without your parents, most of you would still choose to maintain this “unhealthy relationship”.

I would love to here your thoughts and opinions. Are you a rebel or moma’s boy? What are your answer to the addressed question and why?

I’ll just finish off this session by saying – It’s complicated/TheBeast

Their posters can be seen all over the world and the campaign invites recipients to join the real beauty debate on their website. Bossting the cause, videos about the distortion of beauty has been posted online (look above). The purpose and aim of the campaign seems honest but let’s not forget it is also a good old marketing strategy, a way for Dove to increase their sales. The Reason Dove is, for you who are unfamiliar with the brand, produces soap and shampoo. In an industry where most players has more than at least 20 different marketed products Dove were experiences a decrease in their sales. Dove is furthermore part of a bigger cosmetic concern and when the time came for the board to decide whether or not to trash the brand, it was decided to give it one last shot. CampaignForRealBeauty is hence the result of a hired advertising agency, a very good one, and the goal to increase Dove’s sales figures. When successfully getting the consumers attention with a new and fresh marketing concept Dove tripled their anual profits. What might seem like an honest attempt by this cosmetic and skin-care company to crack the riddle of real beauty and inner beauty, can be argued to be nothing more than a simple attempt to make some money on other people’s beauty complexes. Economic Interests in Making You Feel Good! Although it might feel wrong when these marketing schemes make economic profits on regular people’s desires, dreams and insecurities, in this example Dove has also done more than just putting up some posters. The Campaign for Real Beauty invites not only to an online debate about real beauty but has gone well out of their way in tackling this subject by e.g. starting a self-esteem fund. Of course they wouldn’t do it for free, but perhaps this type of marketing and brand building efforts will become an example of how capitalism and humanism can join forces that will gain both parts, financially as well as beauty-building. Commercial Good Will? The final judgement concerning Dove’s Campaign For Real Beauty is that a global campaign like this will probably, and hopefully, gain a lot of people and clear their self-image on beauty. The debate is on thanks to dove, or the over-payed genius at the advertising agency, the concept of Real beauty is astep in the right direction and a breeze of fresh air when most competitors remain in the conservative marketing-pit. What do you think about Dove’s real beauty campaign? Join the debate by commenting below Age is just a state of mind/The Beast

It recently hit me that most of us act and confront conflicts much like we’ve always done during our upbringing and fights we’ve had within our families. When we later go on to form new ties, realtionships and hopefully families that behaviorial pattern often remains.

Now, there nothing strange about that. Rather self-explanatory actually. But it is interesting how we tackle conflicts within new relationsships like we’ve done when we’ve argued with our fathers, mothers or siblings. Wouldn’t it be more logical if we found new ways of dealing with disagreements and conflicts that happens in newer relationships rather than apply the same old conflict management methods?

How our personlities develops and our individual character takes shape are a direct result of our upbringing.  That’s the way it is for us humans. The way you solved conflicts and disagreements in the family when you grew is hence going to affect the way you handle conflicts for the rest of your life. With new boy -or girlfriends, husbands, wifes, daughters, sons, friends. From a more romantic approach this is perhaps the strongest way of remembering our history and past relationships.

But, like I said earlier, what does family really got to do with it?  In order to maintain a healthy relationship and reaching beauty here’s a tip from the Beast:

People are different and obviously affected by prior engagements with other people. Recognize that but at the same time try to reach a individual platform for the relationship in question to stand on its own legs. Independent from earlier conflict management methods and experiences. When in a disagreement or fight with non-relative try to base the outcome and solution on the premises that exist between you and your partner.

Good luck!