And this year, I had a really “unscary” Halloween. My office threw a Halloween party and round these here parts it’s become a tradition to try to outdo everyone else, costume-wise. The person with the most over the top costume wins movie tickets, or a free dinner, or a gift voucher or something. That’s not what it’s about, of course. It’s about having the most kick-ass costume ever and thus finally gaining the respect of your colleagues! At least for one night…

Last year, I couldn’t make it because I got the flu. This girl from accounting won – she came decked out as Jessica Rabbit… Not enough commitment, you protest? Well, she is 5’2″, skinny, and has black hair. That’s right, for one night at an office party, she dyed her hair cartoon-red, wore the mother of all push-up bras, added padding on her hips to become more voluptuous, and balanced on 6 inch heels.

So this year? My costume sucked, I went as a punk: spikey hair, Doc Martens with red laces, ripped tight jeans, an Exploited t-shirt, and fake “punk” tattoos. No way I could have won. And I didn’t. Sasquatch won. Yes indeed, one of our IT guys got the most realistic BigFoot costume ever on TheHorrorDome.com and now he is the coolest guy at work.

It’s funny how people always find something to compete in. We all want the praise and attention from our peers, but in most instances, this admiration is for superficial attribute: nice haircut, cool jeans, love the new dress… or awesome bigfoot costume Jim.

Damn Jim and his tickets to Quantum of Solace… Next year, the prize shall be mine!

1. Stop being insecure

Easier said than done, we know. But fact is that being insecure and doubting yourself at every instance has a terribly damaging effect on your self-perception. Another fact is also that everybody in the whole wide world feels insecure from time to time. It is impossible to avoid making mistakes or bad calls. What is really important is whether or not you will accept that you are not perfect and unable to know everything all the time. Realizing this, you will be able to be less insecure and dare to be whoever you want.

2. Building self-confidence

This can be achieved in many ways. Self-confidence is strongly linked to our self image and must be at a stable high for us to feel good about ourselves. All of these tips will result in higher selfconfidence. Use them as a step by step guide or make your pick. Either way to reach the goal of loving yourself.

3. Accepting who you are

Acceptance is not the same thing as not growing as a person. However, you must be able to look yourself in the mirror without shuddering. You are who you are and change is just around the corner. But before you can change you need to know what it is that needs changing.

4. Not being your worst critic

Respect. It’s all about respect and knowing yourself. Always assuming you are the one that is wrong and have grasped a situation incorrectly will only make you doubt yourself and your ability to independently make good decisions and choices. Knowing when you are wrong and admitting it to yourself as well as to other is only healthy. It is when you stop trusting yourself you’re in trouble.

5. Being able to take criticism and not taking what other people think of you as a threat

If external forces easily shake you into to doubting yourself you are in a fragile state. People around you, best friends and worst enemies, will always criticize your opinions and values. But this is rarely done to hurt you and more as a sign of interest. Taking criticism or questioning from other as a threat is a survival instinct. But knowing that in the end it only matter what you think, should make it a little bit less threatening. What other people think is not a threat but rather an exchange of opinions. You do not have to change your mind or opinion just because it isn’t shared by others.

6. Finding personal characteristics that you are proud of

It does not have to be much but finding at least one thing that you like about yourself and embracing it is a start. Are you funny, nice to people, humble, friendly etc? This way you will enhance what is unique about you and coming one step closer to accepting the fact that you are beautiful.

7. Thinking that you are in at least one way better than others

Comparing ourselves with others is a hard thing to avoid. And to take a shortcut here a good idea is to actually put yourselves above the people you compare yourself with. Don’t worry, they probably do it as well. Knowing in your mind that you posses skills or talents that the others do not will help you to relax and be yourself.

8. Thinking that you are better than others in a humble and not bully kind of a way

However, this can easily transcend into the creation of qualities resembling people openly thinking their better than others. Limit this tip as a mental exercise because bragging is truly one of man worst traits. It will only convince so many people. Not including yourself.

9. Create good routines

The perception of a cool and likable character today amongst younger people is more than often based on how “free” you are from responsibility, routines and other element considers to a be part of the “adult” life. Eating good, exercising regularly, planning ahead are all good things that will lead to the feeling of being in control of your life. When many people will think you are boring and boxed in your routines, they are simple intimidated and envious that you are not dependent on blurry nights at some random clubs to feel good about yourself. Routines such as these will also show direct result on your energy and figure. And although we do not like to think of physical appearance as the main key to feeling beautiful – it is only to realize that we are all influenced by our western view on beauty.

10. Doing all of these things by yourself

Reassurance, verification and encouragements from family and friends can be considered a bonus at most. Relying on others to define who you will merely give you an excuse to really find out yourself.